I usually always experience a glow during Pisces season — a general sense of embodiment, optimism, beauty, and power throughout late February and March. During this time, I typically find myself energized to wrap up old/loose ends, take the extra 10 minutes to get ready and feel my best, and bask in the excitement of a new year, new age. This is not unusual with a solar return and birthday season, when the Sun is back to traversing our zodiac sign at birth 🌞
This March was a bit different. A time I thought would be dedicated to celebrating, flourishing, and ringing in a new decade of life with friends — ended up to be unexpectedly focused on healing and finding my way through a loss and grief that upended my personal foundation.
To pack an even more symbolic punch: this life twist came at the tail end of my Saturn return. One last cosmic shake from Saturn, and a call to rebuild and recommit to the structures that support my thriving.
So, in the days before I turned 30 on March 11, I found myself having to connect with a new idea of the future and how I would be moving forward in it. Rather than honoring a peak in personal power that I usually feel that time of year, I was slowing down, feeling the devastation, and leaning into a life transition I did not ask for but was necessary to get through. I even started to create a curriculum for the crisis-specific self-care and healing I needed.
One day I will share more intimately about this loss. But today, I’m just feeling so freaking grateful and hopeful for the future, and that is the beautiful duality of this life. Feeling a bit broken and weakened, but more optimistic than ever. I’ve promised myself not to rush this phase.
I always knew for a March 2023 post I would keep with Swiftie tradition and write out my own 30-before-30 list of lessons learned. With everything that’s happened, writing this reflection piece has been particularly meditative and healing. If you’re going through it as well right now — sending you big hugs and permission (and wholehearted encouragement!) to feel damn proud of yourself for walking through the fire. Write your own list of wisdom — you have more of it than you may think 🤍
Lead with gratitude, even when things fall apart. Find your blessings and something to be grateful for, even if you aren’t naturally feeling it at the time. This is immensely helpful in trying to move from a victim to hero mindset.
Writing is healing. Let your words flow out of your brain and onto the page. It’s cathartic, it helps you attune to your emotions and preoccupations, and no matter how messy it may look on paper, it’s helping your mind organize its thoughts and plan of action. And: you never have to read or look back on it again if you don’t want to — you still get the same effects.
It’s easier to stay in motion than get in motion. Newton for the win here. When you commit to something daily, it’s not a matter of if it will happen, but when. This mindset has been so incredible in keeping up my yoga and writing practice, even during the days I really don’t feel like it. And on a related note…
Show up and the results will come. Instead of “writing more” I am showing up each morning to write something, which can be anywhere from several pages to a few sentences. Instead of holding myself to drawn-out sweat sessions, I am honoring all time on my yoga mat — whether it’s 8 mins or an hour. And it’s working: I’ve written more in three months than I ever did in a single year’s time. And my mind and body have never felt stronger.
Don’t underestimate how meaningful it is to others when you reach out. Especially to those you don’t always talk to every day. I’m still learning this 💛
Self-inflicted suffering is not impressive. I went to school in places where “busyness” was a badge of honor and source of competition — where status was derived from the number of commitments you took on, how few hours of sleep you got, and how little free time you had. It took a while to separate from these values.
Water fixes most things. A glass of ice water, a shower, dipping my toes in the ocean. Cures for the soul whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed, stuck, and not present in my body. Plus: dehydration is often the cause for many sudden physical ailments — always start with water. And….
Find a good water bottle. One that you like aesthetically. One that’s easy to re-fill. One that won’t mess up your teeth. I’ve learned this is half the battle in staying hydrated.
Stoke the fire that is already lit. Follow your curiosities and passions as they arise. Hold onto that energy and don’t ignore it (the fire will go out if you do not tend to it). On the other side of this: don’t try to force an interest or way of being if it isn’t already present within you.
I can do hard things. It sucks — but I remind myself 1) it probably won’t take as long as I’m imagining in my head, 2) in most cases, I’ve probably already been through worse, and 3) rest and reward await.
I know my body best. Don’t downplay what you are feeling or experiencing just because others might not believe it. Speak up with your doctors and caregivers.
Default to giving others grace and the benefit of the doubt. If you have a negative interaction with someone, they are probably just having an off day. Or hurting in a way you can’t possibly know. Just wish them the best, and move on. They’re not your problem.
Self-care is about parenting yourself. Getting yourself to bed on time. Eating your veggies. Removing yourself from overstimulation. Gently picking yourself up and telling yourself, hey, looks like you’re having a hard time. Let’s make this better.
You can be both/and. Hopeful and sad. Healthy and spiraling. Smart and clueless. Ok and not ok. This is a huge tenet in my former client Jennifer Racioppi’s book Cosmic Health, and I think about it often.
Don’t force something that doesn’t come naturally. This goes for relationships, work opportunities, big purchases, hobbies and interests, etc. Things happen in their own time.
You don’t have to solve problems immediately. Sometimes they resolve themselves without an ounce of action on your part — and in the best, easiest ways possible. Take a beat and see what comes to the surface before jumping into action.
Let go of things you can’t control. No matter the injustice or unknowns. Don’t be a martyr to your tragedies. Grieve fully and look onwards.
“Manifesting” is about meeting the universe halfway. The universe delivers when you are ready, so match your desires with action to bring goals to fruition. As the saying goes: fortune favors the prepared.
Time block your life and free your mind. For me right now, this looks like: errands on Mondays; Tuesdays-Thursdays for the bulk of client work; family, social, and travel planning on Saturdays; rest and recharging on Fridays and Sundays. When something comes up, I delegate it to its corresponding day and keep going with my current focuses. See also: Free Time by Jenny Blake.
You are in partnership with your body. These days, I’m playing with the idea that I am not “one” with my body, but actually in partnership with it. Listen to your body. Nourish it, nurture it, and it will empower you.
Get some sun. Last summer I moved my office from the basement (originally a natural choice, because of the quiet and privacy) to an upstairs bonus space — and never looked back. Still learning to “get my photons in” though.
Focus on you. “Living well is the best revenge” — the concept of revenge sounds so sinister, but the sentiment rings so so true. Move along your merry way!
Always be a student of something. Stay curious. Pick up new things to learn, and be bad at it. It’s simultaneously humbling and mind-expanding.
The best souvenirs are photographs and journal entries. Document the little things and fleeting moments. The sights, sounds, smells of all your eras.
Quality over quantity with everything. This goes for friendships, makeup, shoes, work projects, trips, books, and dessert (and so much more I can’t think of right now).
It’s ok not to finish books you don’t like. Life is short, and reading time even more scarce. At the end of the day, I want to look at a pile of books I loved rather than a pile of books I barely got through.
Follow your curiosity in the kitchen. Cooking doesn’t have to be hard, or something you’re either good at or not. Just start with what you’re craving, one recipe at a time.
Call in the professionals. An accountant for your taxes, a lawyer for that client that stiffs, a therapist when the same shit keeps coming up. You don’t have to do everything on your own.
Make your bed every day. Future you deserves to walk into spaces that are reset and ready.
Just get started. “A year from now you’ll wish you had started today” — how many times have I thought this about so many interests, goals, and projects in my life? I tend to hold out for the “perfect moment” to start something. But I’ve found that a huge source of wellness for me (perhaps as an Aries rising?) is to start where I am and build from there.
Thank you for reading. xx
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